27/2/14

Earlier today I went to the hospital with my mother. For the past few months I have been really sick and if it continues I won't be able to have children, all because I am fat. Normally when I tell people i am not eating or i am too fat they ' You're not fat, you are curvy' or 'You are not, you are just big boned', if you are one of those people who say these stop, it doesn't make us feel better, it just makes us feel worse.
This is the second time i have being to the gynaecologist and he was saying the same thing back again: Stop eating unhealthy food and exercise. This is hard to obey because i come from a culture where majority - if not all- of the food we make and eat is either all carbohydrates or fats and oil , and since i can't cook it is hard for me to eat healthy since there are only  unhealthy things around me.

For the exercise, i am too lazy

Anyway, i started a new diet on Monday the i wont eat all the icky foods- eba, rice, pounded yam, etc.-  and it is going okay i think though because of it i can only once a day. I didn't tell the doctor this not because i didn't want to but because my mother was right next to me. My mother is the type of person  that will rather criticize you than encourage you, if i had mentioned it, my mother surely would have whispered - quite loudly- about how it was impossible or about how the diet will consist of junk food and it so fucking annoying. If i am thinking about starting something i want support not criticism but my mother is not used to people telling her to keep her opinions to herself because she is always sharing them with people who couldn't give two fucks. My mother recommended i join in on their fast but i refused because i didn't want to start my first fast under such reasons. Long story short, the doctor recommended birth control pills and exercise and we left

Unfortunately when we got home, my mother began insulting me saying i was an ill mannered idiot and i disgraced her in front of the doctor and that she was so close to slapping me in front of the doctor , i went to my room and cried but i guess tomorrow she will make me apologise - i hate apologising when i don't mean it- to her and forget about the whole thing

Sigh

Annyeonghaseyo

Hey
It would be silly to tell you my name
So feel free to call me Ingrid
.
My nationality is unknown,
Time has no affect on me
And but I am a simple wanderer 
Who is surrounded by ignorant narrow-minded people
So I am here to express the feelings I have to bottle up inside of me

Love,
TheFaceBehindTheMask