Me, Myself and I (Cont)

In my previous post there was a little part about 'That's a story for another time'



When I was younger (9 - younger) I met some people whom didn't have the nest intentions for me. At the time i didnt care who they were as long as they made me feel wanted. I did stupid things that i regret. Things that i was way too young to be involved in, and these things all have one common denominator : boys.

As i said before when i was younger i was obese - still am- but i wasnt the average ball of happiness. I had rolls, stretch marks, a fat tummy; but i also had an ass and breasts. because of these features a typical man paid more attention to me. I was young and i was foolish. I was taken advantage of by so many people without realizing,k and at the time i didnt care cause i wanted to keep being their friend.

My shitty self esteem didnt help matters .To cut the story short, i somehow managed to save myself before i went too far down the rabbit hole.

long story short:


My ovaries are fucked. I'm either on my period for months at a time or I don't see my period for months at a time. I am sick and tired of trying to fix it and seeing no results. I am overweight. I know that. I have dealt with this truth all my life and I have survived. But knowing the fact that i may not be able to have kids in future is because I'm overweight is becoming too hard to handle.

I am tired. I've reached a point where I don't care anymore.

If they spoil, then they spoil. If they decide to work again, great!!! I will rejoice. I , however, refuse to wallow in self pity over my unfortunate condition. I will cry, wipe my tears, pick myself and continue with my life. I refuse to go back to how i once was.